oh are you bipolar one or two? (v3)

The moment I turn twenty-three

I'll grab the gun my father gave to me

On my birthday when I turned seventeen

I'll lay a note right next to me that says

"Split the money that I have evenly between my mom and my dad"

I'll speak so eloquently on what to do with each half

I'll tell Rebecca, "Buy a home down the road from Cypress Grove"

And I know, Mother, you don't want me to go but I must go

And I'll tell Mark to buy a car

Please know you're always in my heart

Even when my conscious self departs, you did your job

And to Chris, I hope you're smilin'

'Cause you kept the boy from dying

For almost a decade, man, fuck what my friends say

One twitch of the finger, fuck around and I'm dead weight

Don't believe what the press say

I did this for me and no one else in the best way

To all of my friends, you know I wish you the best

And when you say my name, say that shit with your chest

And I think I should be clear, I don't want

 

I don't wan' be here with people that

That I didn't know last year at fuckin' all

You don't wan' be here when I blow my top off

Girl, I don't want to be here at all, at all, at all, at all, at all

I'll put the metal to skin, and I'll go off on a whim and say

That I don't wan' be here at fuckin' all

 

I wonder if tomorrow would've been better

In all honesty, it don't even matter at all

'Cause it bends, it breaks, it folds

And I'm here right now so just hear me out

Know I let you down, but I can't, no, I can't

I can't change anything

This trajectory, it was meant for me

It was meant to be

Don't let my mom see me before they bury me

'Cause the man in that coffin, shit, he's barely me

Plenty people gon' say they were there for me

They weren't there for me, they didn't care for me, so

 

I don't wan' be here with people that

That I didn't know last year at fuckin' all

You don't wan' be here when I blow my top off

Girl, I don't want to be here at all, at all, at all, at all, at all

I'll put the metal to skin, and I'll go off on a whim and say

That I don't wan' be here at fuckin' all